Everybody loves to hate emotional ‘stuckness’—those painful situations when life isn’t going the way we want it to, we seem powerless to alter the situation and there’s just no sense of forward movement. What’s to love about where you are? Nothing. Most of us hate it.

It might be a house move that’s stalled. A difficult work situation. A family member causing grief. A committee member at your club who’s failing to do what they’re supposed to. The opportunities for running aground are endless.

Social media is awash with people complaining about stuckness. “Such-and-such needs to do such-and-such. It’s all their fault! I’m stuck! I hate it!” On the surface, this may be true. Who knows?

Frankly, who cares? All this finger-pointing, blaming and shaming achieves nothing. You’re still stuck. Worse, you’re stuck and riled up about it.

Emotional responsibility

Let’s assume you have zero control over your stuck situation—physically, that is. You always have emotional control over the situation.

The precursor to getting unstuck at the physical level—getting life moving again—is to get unstuck at the emotional level. The key to this is accepting emotional responsibility for the situation.

You may not have caused this situation. It doesn’t matter. Accept emotional responsibility for it.

You may be an innocent bystander caught in some crossfire. It doesn’t matter. Accept emotional responsibility for it.

Whatever’s going in your life that you’re unhappy with and seems out of your hands, accept FULL responsibility for your involvement in it.

Love where you are

One thing’s for certain. YOU are a participant in this situation, whether you like it or not, and whether you consciously chose to get involved or not.

So love where you are.

Love where you are because this will spring open the jaws of stuckness.

Why?

Because it’s not really the physical situation that’s stuck. The house move, the work issue—whatever. What’s actually stuck is your attitude to the situation. Stuckness only exists when we feel stuck. It’s an internal phenomenon, not an external one.

To get out of where you are, love where you are. Because what’s actually stuck isn’t the situation, it’s your attitude to the situation.

In other words, a situation only triggers feelings of stuckness when we have some kind of emotional resistance to the perceived lack of movement. That means there’s something about the situation we want to avoid, gloss over, be done with and move on.

Get out of where you are

Now do you see the evolutionary purpose of stuck situations?

They show you the places where you’re emotionally stuck. Instead of fighting and whining, accept the opportunity to evolve. Love where you are. Release all judgment about the situation and the people. The only move in the game is to unconditional love.

By loving where you are, you assume emotional responsibility and release resistance. This shifts you from the passenger seat to the driving seat. You may not have physical control of the situation, but you now have emotional control over it—and won’t feel stuck.

This is when the magic happens, grace descends and suddenly the impasse resolves. It doesn’t always happen, but I’ve seen it often enough to recognise the trend.

To get out of where you are, love where you are. You’ll float out of stuckness in no time.

Photo by Ryan ‘O’ Niel on Unsplash

Exploring the Unconscious

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MICHAEL H HALLETT

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