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I recently wrote about the impact of shame on Erectile Dysfunction. In this blog, we’re going to look at that other great bête noire of male sexuality, Premature Ejaculation (PE). Bugbears & black beasts It’s hard to find a better shorthand for PE than the French term bête noire, which means a bugbear or, literally, […]

In a blog titled The forbidden image of the penis I examined the fundamentally shameful nature of the penis. Here let us examine how that shame manifests in Erectile Dysfunction (ED). According to the British Association of Urological Surgeons (BAUS), “Erectile dysfunction becomes commoner with increasing age and is seen in 50-55% of men between 40 and […]

One of our greatest impediments to deep change is the fear of losing control. In The steps appear when you commit to change, I describe how a lack of commitment can be an impediment to change. We want change, but we don’t want to change. We fear it. What is that fear? It’s the fear […]

Change. Love it or hate it, it’s relentlessly and remorselessly thrust upon us. Yet when we choose to change, when we decide to tackle an issue, we can get lost not knowing what to do or what steps to take. This is particularly true with emotional issues like releasing trauma or unconscious shame. There is […]

The human unconscious cannot be understood through objective truth and empirical evidence. This fluid domain is a world ruled by subjective truth. The realm of the unconscious In Debugging the Universe, Laura Knight-Jadczyk describes the unconscious as “the realm from where our world manifests, in which are found unfathomable depths of the rejected, the unacknowledged, […]

If healing trauma were easy, we would live in a vastly different, healthier, trauma-free world. We don’t. Because healing trauma is hard. Firstly, you must come out of denial that the trauma even exists. Then you must identify the trauma. You must want to heal it badly enough to endure the pain. Finally, you can […]

The climate change that happened from around 4000 BC—documented in the Bible as The Fall—shattered Neolithic human physiology. It created homo patriarchus, patriarchal man, hell-bent on conquest and the stockpiling of surplus to offset the extreme feelings of shortage stemming from centuries of drought, desertification, and famine. Among the traumas homo patriarchus incurred in this […]

As soon as the Toyota Landcruiser’s heavy tyres crunched onto the gravel road, I felt it in the pit of my stomach. Fear. It was only a few miles off-road to the Wadi al Muaydin in Oman—gravel, not even proper desert. Yet it was there. An unmistakeable fear of the desert, despite never having spent […]

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven R. Covey writes: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” If most people don’t listen to understand, is it possible they also don’t speak to communicate? Listen to understand Some years ago, I had the privilege […]

In my blogs I’ve written extensively on the principles and processes of porn addiction and how to heal it. This blog might be entitled, ‘the philosophy of healing porn addiction’. The core of this philosophy is that the cure is known to the disease. “The cure is always known to the disease” In The Sufis, […]