Sexuality

“My libido is strong. I have a high sex drive.” How often are such phrases used to justify inappropriate, disrespectful, and unhealthy sexual behaviour? How often do politicians, actors and other celebrities make the news for unwanted sexual advances? And how often does it happen and not make the news? What is the libido? We […]

Are you sexually frustrated? If so, has you ever considered that the answer to your sexual frustration might not be sex? Sexual pleasure is life pleasure, and sexual energy is life energy. And, of course, sexual frustration is life frustration. Sexual energy In What is sexual energy? I describe experiments by Wilhelm Reich in the […]

What is sexual energy? It may seem like an odd question, an obvious question, even an unnecessary question. Yet it is the question that unlocks answers to some of life’s deepest mysteries. Sexual energy is high-octane, high-rev life energy colliding with the ‘red line’ of sexual shame. What is sexual energy? What is the energy […]

We live in a world of growing crises, growing trauma, and growing anxiety. We’re desperately in need of solutions, a way of turning back the rising tide of emotional distress. It turns out that—surprise, surprise—nature has a win-win solution for this. It’s called the ‘orgasm reflex’. The “shambles” Studying schizophrenia in the 1960s, psychologist R.D. […]

As this site deals with awkward topics such as shame, generational trauma and porn addiction, from time to time I receive interesting queries. One such recent query was about the shame of lack of sexual experience. Double-whammy This is an absolutely valid query on an absolutely valid issue. The lack of sexual experience can be […]

The ‘sexual-spiritual split’ is a term that comes to us from Michael Picucci, PhD, co-founder of the Institute for Staged Recovery. Writing in The Journey toward Complete Recovery, Picucci describes the sexual-spiritual split as “a deep psychic schism within almost everyone in our culture which prohibits enduring, loving relationships to form, which at the same […]

In What is ancestral trauma? I describe the key psychological wounds that humanity suffered as a result of the drought, desertification and famine that gave rise to patriarchy. Here I want to focus on the third of these wounds: humanity’s core sexual wound.  Humanity incurred a core sexual wound as a result of the drought, […]

It’s a common misconception that lap-dancing clubs, or gentlemen’s clubs, as they are otherwise (and somewhat euphemistically) known, sell sex*. What they actually sell is an invisible boundary between fake sex and real sex. The purpose of lap-dancing clubs is to give men the impression that they are sexually attractive and proficient when the reality […]

We tend to think of sex as a component of our love lives, and that’s it. When we have a romantic partner, we have sex with them. Period. We don’t always realise that beyond sex lies the broader spectrum of sexuality, or sexual energy—and that it encompasses a quadrant of related energies. Quadrant We tend […]

I can still vividly remember the place where my father took me aside, some time in 1976, for the obligatory ‘birds and bees’ talk that all teenagers faced back then. It was a rest stop on the Napier – Taupo highway in New Zealand. For those of you unfamiliar with it, this is a winding, […]