Are you sexually frustrated? If so, has you ever considered that the answer to your sexual frustration might not be sex?
Sexual pleasure is life pleasure, and sexual energy is life energy. And, of course, sexual frustration is life frustration.
In What is sexual energy? I describe experiments by Wilhelm Reich in the 1930s and 40s that measured the electrical conductivity of various parts of the human body in both the unaroused and sexually aroused states.
Reich used an oscillograph to determine that “there are certain parts of the surface where the reaction is fundamentally different… These are the erogenous zones… Oscillations of up to 50mv and more can be observed in the sexual zones.”
These oscillations always occurred during sexual arousal. Yet, crucially, sexual arousal did not always produce oscillations. “The [electrical] potential at an erogenous zone does not increase unless a streaming sensation of pleasure is experienced at that zone.” (Wilhelm Reich, his italics)
This streaming sensation was nothing other than life satisfaction, leading Reich to conclude that “the sexual process, i.e., the expansive process of biological pleasure, is the productive life process per se.”
In other words, sexual pleasure is life pleasure, and sexual energy is life energy. Which of course means that sexual frustration is life frustration.
In Patriarchy demands that our relationships are stagnant, I write how patriarchal societies—which is to say, anti-female, anti-sex societies—only survive by perpetuating emotionally stagnant relationships between couples.
Stagnant relationships are relationships where all desires for emotional growth, variety, and deeper intimacy have been successfully repressed or suppressed by both participants.
Michael Picucci, author of The Journey Toward Complete Recovery, writes of “a deep psychic schism within almost everyone in our culture which prohibits enduring, loving relationships to form, which at the same time can remain sexually alive and growing”.
The reason that such relationships are necessary for the survival of patriarchy is because all emotional growth is an increase in connection with the stigmatized female parts of our lives. By definition, emotionally balanced relationships must spell the end of patriarchy.
As Picucci identifies, the same applies to sexual relationships.
In The Function of the Orgasm, psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich describes the psychological layers of our character structure as follows:
“Civilized man, if he can indeed be called civilized, developed a psychic structure consisting of three layers. On the surface, he wears an artificial mask of self-control, compulsive insincere politeness, and pseudo-sociality.
This mask conceals the second layer, the Freudian ‘unconscious’, in which sadism, avarice, lasciviousness, envy, perversions of all kind, etc., are held in check without, however, being deprived of the slightest amount of energy…
Beneath it, in the depth, natural sociality and sexuality, spontaneous joy in work, the capacity for love, exist and operate. This third and deepest layer, which represents the biological core of the human structure, is unconscious, and it is feared.”
Sexual frustration is energy from the third layer trying to liberate and express itself. Because it becomes trapped under the first, superficial layer, it becomes distorted and emerges as the “lasciviousness, envy, perversions of all kinds” that we find in the second layer.
If you’re feeling frustrated, having some great sex will make you feel better. But not for long. You’ll soon feel frustrated again and want sex again. And again. See where this is going? The spiral into sex addiction and/or porn addiction isn’t far away.
The real solution is to break the “artificial mask” of emotional and sexual stagnation. Not only will your sexual frustrationturn to life satisfaction, but you’ll be ending patriarchy.