All addictions are unresolved traumas

My personal journey into recognising and resolving trauma began with addiction—in this case, pornography. While I quickly realised that porn addiction is a cry for help from the unconscious, I didn’t at that time understand that our deep unconscious contains only traumas or their secondary manifestations—such as addictions.

The addiction cycle

Many people who struggle with addictions are familiar with their cyclical nature. This has given rise to a spate of diagrams illustrating the addiction cycle, such as this very simple one from the Milton Keynes Safeguarding Children’s Board:

What is less recognised is the role shame plays in creating and maintaining this cycle. Before recognising the role of trauma, I reframed addictions as shame-based issues:

“Many shame-based issues manifest on a cyclical basis, which gives rise to a cyclical coping mechanism: the shame cycle. This cycle of behaviour applies to a variety of issues such as self-harm, porn addiction, drugs, eating disorders and binge drinking.

The starting point of the cycle is the reservoir of unconscious shame and negative self-beliefs, labelled ‘negative emotions’ above… these centre on the emotions, the body and sexuality. It’s no coincidence that the coping mechanisms used to manage these distressing, shameful feelings centre on the same aspects of the self.”

To that list of addictions we can add more recent epidemics, such as social media binges, desperately trying to be ‘liked,’ and compulsive tattooing.

The trauma cycle

Just as addiction therapists recognise an addiction cycle, trauma therapists recognise a trauma cycle. While the number of stages in the cycle can vary, they all follow the same basic plan—which is basically identical to the addiction cycle.

Notably, this example includes shame—though as pertaining to a single stage of the cycle, while in truth it pervades every stage but is only acute at certain points.

Source: www.sallyedwards.com

All the coping mechanisms listed in the orange stage of the cycle—avoidance behaviours, substance use, self-harm, disordered eating, and other numbing behaviours—are addictive in nature.

We are addicted to and ashamed of any behaviour that eases our trauma. By ‘eases’ I mean anaesthetises, overrides, compensates for, distracts us from or discharges pent-up emotions. These traumas may stem from our current life, be inherited from recent generations, or stretch back to unknown ancestors at unknown times.

Homeostasis

Both primary traumas and their secondary addictions are held in place by psychic homeostasis. While physical homeostasis was formally demonstrated by physiologist Walter B. Cannon in 1926 and documented in The Wisdom of the Body, recognition that similar principles and processes apply to our psyche is relatively new.

Both physical and psychic homeostasis are autonomous processes that maintain our being in the best possible state at any time. Once trauma becomes embedded through an experience of emotional overwhelm, homeostasis has no choice but to incorporate the disturbance into our general psychic state.

This leads to secondary coping mechanisms, such as formally recognised addictions, as well as behavioural patterns of an addictive nature—all residing in our unconscious under a blanket of shame.

Addiction, trauma, and shame

Addiction, trauma, and shame create an interlocking, self-sealing environment that is impervious to anything our minds can throw at it.

Where then is the point of attack? In my view, it is shame.

To treat an addiction, treat the underlying trauma—and recognise that both addiction and its driving trauma are mired in shame. Aside from pornography, I’m not a specialist addiction therapist. But no therapy can affect root cause resolution without addressing the underlying trauma—and its shame.

Recognising and releasing shame paves the way for rewiring psychic homeostasis.

All addictions are unresolved traumas. You can treat the symptoms of an addiction, but true solution lies in eradicating the trauma—which requires addressing its shame.

Next steps

For further resources on porn addiction, both free and paid, please click on this image.

For further resources on generational trauma, both free and paid, please click on this image.

And for further resources on shame, both free and paid, please click on this image.

Photo by mohammad majid on Unsplash