We never see the S-bends of life coming until they loom out of the fog on a narrow mountaintop road. It’s too late. We’re committed. We’re going through a zig-zag no matter what. After years of personal development and healing, I’m pleased to report that life conspires to keep us on the road. The more we commit to heal, the more life bends to support our healing.
The more we commit to heal, the more life bends to support our healing – but you must be in the driving seat, hands on the wheel.
Life bends to support healing
You can call this process fate. You can call it God. You can call it whatever you like, or even deny its existence. None of that matters. What matters is that there is a process. The process is consistent, reliable, and repeatable.
This process supports your evolutionary journey—provided you commit to that journey.
More accurately, the process supports you to the extent that you commit to your own healing. If you are a dabbler, an amateur, a dilettante, life’s evolutionary processes will treat you accordingly.
The more you put ‘pedal to the metal’ to accelerate your healing and personal growth, the faster the S-bends come at you. In response, extraordinary situations unfold to facilitate your change.
Life bends to support healing, but you must be in the driving seat. Hands on the wheel, foot on the gas, ready to shift up through the gears. With no Google Maps to tell you what’s ahead.
Here’s a personal example that continues the road bends metaphor of this blog.
A few years ago, I was struggling with my ‘money story’—feelings of unworthiness around money. My parents struggled with money issues. There was no positive financial role-modelling in my family.
I became a well-paid IT consultant, yet my underlying money story was one of poverty. When I committed to healing my negative beliefs, the lucrative contracts evaporated. I was forced to face the reality of my negative worldview.
This is how the road of life bends to support—or, more forcefully, demand—healing. Yet the problem doesn’t appear in isolation. It always appears in tandem with its own solution. That’s because another of these hidden laws is that problems can’t appear without their own solution.
Major life-bends often involve some form of financial, psychological, or physical crash. Sometimes they involve all three.
I remember the morning of the crash very clearly.
We went away for a weekend and left early on the Monday morning to get my son to school. Rush hour traffic. It had been raining. I had three bicycles on the back of the car. For no apparent reason, I felt under huge pressure to get my son dropped off in time.
Under this pressure, I forgot that the weight of the bikes increased my stopping distance. Someone ahead braked. I couldn’t stop. The van behind me couldn’t either. A classic, five-car, nose-to-tail job. It caused a huge tailback and made the national traffic news.
Yet, at the exact moment of impact, I felt extreme, Zen-like calm. I knew we were safe—and I knew the crash was, somehow, for my benefit.
A few days later I discovered how. The car was written off—and I developed a sudden phobia that the insurance company would find a reason to reject the claim. All my buried financial fears found an outlet, like a lightning rod, and erupted into my consciousness.
And with that they were gone. My attitude to money improved and will never deteriorate. And, of course, the insurance company paid out.
Trust the plan
I could give other examples of life seeming to bend itself to facilitate healing. You can find some in Living with ghosts – confronting generational trauma.
There’s a well-known saying that “when the student is ready, the teacher appears.” It’s not as limited as a teacher in the sense of a living being, like Yoda in Star Wars. Life is our greatest teacher.
And the greatest lesson life has taught me is this: trust the plan.
Whether the plan actually exists, in some metaphysical form, is irrelevant. If you commit to growth and healing, an orderly sequence of events will materialise. Seemingly out of nowhere—yet, with hindsight, perfect for taking you through whatever S-bend you had no choice but to navigate.
Life bends to support our healing. Keep that pedal to the metal. No personal liability accepted!