There is a common misconception that spiritual growth is like a gently opening flower. A tight, closed bud gradually unfurls, revealing the beauty within. Or it’s a starry path into the heavens. You jump from one twinkling star to the next until you’re at one with the cosmos.

The reality of Ascension—which is a process of accelerated spiritual growth—is otherwise. To make way for the new one has to eliminate the old. You can’t build a new house—your spiritually mature self—on the foundations of the spiritually immature you. Everything that no longer serves has to go.


People on the Ascension path become accustomed to loss. Loss of jobs, businesses and money is commonplace. That’s because having wealth allows you to distract yourself from the task at hand—ripping out the foundations of the old you. It is vastly preferable to do pretty much anything else, up to and including having your teeth pulled by a dentist without anaesthetic. That’s money gone.

Family relationships often suffer. It’s quite likely that someone in your extended family is an energy parasite that feeds off others through creating dysfunctional situations. They don’t want you to change, because when you do you will see through their games and put a stop to them. So they may fabricate a reason to exit from your life while leaving you with the blame. Let them go.

Sometimes spiritual growth involves the loss of our ‘significant other’. If one partner wants to grow and the other doesn’t, a fall-out is inevitable. At least there is a positive side—you’re free to find a new partner and create a relationship at a new and healthier level.


That just leaves friends. Some will simply disappear off your radar, quite possibly unnoticed. You may suddenly realise you haven’t heard from them in a while, or you haven’t felt any urge to contact them. If you do see them, you may find that you have nothing in common. A while back I ran into someone who used to be a close friend over a decade ago. After 30 seconds our conversation fell flat… too much water under the bridge. Let it go.

Sometimes, though, you may lose a friend that really hurts. Something insignificant may suddenly blow up into a dividing line that neither of you can cross, and—bam!—they’re gone, often acrimoniously. What just happened?

When you fall out with a dear friend, you have shifted from like attracting like to opposites repelling

There is a metaphysical truism that like attracts like. The opposite is also true—opposites repel. When you fall out with a dear friend, you have shifted from like attracting like to opposites repelling. Invariably, you will find that one of you has shifted and one of you hasn’t. If you’re reading this, you’re probably the one that has shifted. You let go of something that was holding you at a more immature spiritual level and you’ve grown. Your friend didn’t—and they resent it. They will exit from your life stage left, letting everyone know that you are to blame. Expect displays of pettiness and petulance. Resist the temptation to respond. “Those with eyes to see”—people who are emotionally mature—will see through the aggrieved social media posts and know the truth.


Can reconciliation occur? Yes. I have had one instance of an emotional blow-up with a close friend from which we recovered and continued our friendship. But, in general, this doesn’t occur. Once a deep emotional rupture occurs between two people, the likelihood of reconciliation is slim.

Time is a great healer, but the loss of close friends is particularly painful and takes a long time to get over. Ascension is indeed a starry path that brings unimaginable benefits. Losing dear friends isn’t one of them.

Image: Untitled by Stephanie Red on Flickr.