I know. It’s not what you wanted to hear.

We all have desires, and we all like to think that they are almost within reach. Yet some of our desires simply stay almost within reach, sometimes for years—yet we’re never able to actually turn them into reality.

That’s because everything we desire lies outside our comfort zone.

To turn desire into reality requires us to reach beyond who we are now. We cannot turn our desires into reality; only a new, improved version of us can do it. That requires change, and change is painful.

To turn desire into reality requires us to reach beyond who we are now. We cannot turn our desires into reality; only a new, improved version of us can do it. That requires change, and change is painful. Change is risky. Change is unknown. So we don’t do it. And out desires remain just that—desires.

Dang.

What is a comfort zone?

Let’s start to unravel this Gordian knot by asking what is a comfort zone?

A comfort zone is like a wall of invisible, unconscious emotional concrete. Everything that occurs within this zone feels comfortable to us. We feel at home here. Nothing shocks us, places any great demands upon us, or asks us to stretch and grow. This is our Business As Usual (BAU).

Everything outside our comfort zone is the opposite. It’s unknown. It’s scary. It pulls and stretches us in different directions—mostly emotional. Here we encounter beliefs and behaviours that literally make us uncomfortable or we downright don’t agree with. And even if it’s something that we actually want to grow into and incorporate into our BAU—like one of our desires—we don’t know if we’re capable of it.

Failure

Let’s say there’s someone at your work that you really like. You want to ask them on a date. This person currently lies outside your BAU but you would very much like them to be a part of it. Go on—ask them out. Suddenly a raft of unwelcome feelings spring up. What if they say no? You’ll be the laughing stock of the office and you’ll be afraid to ever ask anyone out again. It may be the same if we think of joining a new company or starting a DIY project that we have no experience of. It can all go topsy-turvy—sometimes, very publically.

Outside our comfort zone, the potential for embarrassment, humiliation and failure is significant. In a word, there is a potential for us to feel ashamed. Shame is among the most powerful of human emotions and a great driver of ‘don’t rock the boat’ behaviour. If you want to expand your comfort zone, you will need to take a risk. You will need to venture into the unknown. You will need to grow.

When we choose to step outside our comfort zone, we reach for the stars. The universe waits for your leap with bated breath. This site is full of simple emotional tools to help you on jour journey—like breathing, intent, faith and courage. But if you can’t step outside your comfort zone, no power in the world can bring your desires to reality.

Photo by Alessio Lin on Unsplash.